Since the 2008 presidential primary season has been unofficially dubbed the Campaign of Change™, I would like to offer a modest proposal that would eliminate the incovenience of running out of ballots, paying for expensive TV commercials, organizing tedious debates, hiring pollsters, or even holding caucuses, primaries or a general election.
The proposal: Count how many times each candidate says the word “change” and award the presidency to the person with the highest tally on the date that the election would have been held.
By my best estimates, here are the current leaders:
Obama: 6,954,213
Romney: 5,285.977
Clinton: 1,549,456
The candidate with the fewest number of “changes” is Mike Gravel (D-AK), with a grand total of one. Back last September, Gravel lamented that his campaign was so strapped for funds, he couldn’t even afford a “change” of clothes.
There could also be some variations on this scheme. For instance, Mitt Romney could be awarded one-half a “change” every time he says, “Washington is broken,” and Hillary Clinton could be deducted one-half a “change” every time she uses the word “experience” within five words of uttering the word “change.” Conversely, she could be awarded an additional 5,000 points for being the only presidential candidate to have gone through the “Change” of Life.
For those voters who wish to support their favorite candidate, campaign contributions could still be made, but these monies would only be used to add to the “change” count.
It would give a whole new meaning to the phrase, “Does anybody have ‘change’ for a dollar?”.
Glen Beck must have read your mind. His sshow on thee radio was just the same.