Truly A Fate Worse Than Death

It was a dark and stormy night…………

It was a terrible nightmare, the most horrible one you could imagine. In the nightmare I found myself nude in bed, and I was looking at a mirror on the ceiling, and I discovered that I am a negro and that I’m circumcised!

Quickly I jumped up, found my pants and looked in the pockets for my drivers license photo-and it was the same. I’m Black. No, No, God No, it can’t be!!

I felt myself feeling very depressed, downcast sitting in a chair. But it’s a wheelchair!! That means of course besides being Black and Jewish I’m also disabled!!!  I said to myself, aloud “This is impossible.  It’s impossible that I should be Black, Jewish and disabled.”

“It’s the pure and holy truth,” someone whispers from behind me. I turn around and it’s my boyfriend. Just what I needed!!! I’m a homosexual whore and on top of that with a Mexican boyfriend. Sonofabitch!!!! Black, Jewish, disabled, gay, a drug addict with a Mexican boyfriend and HIV positive.

Desperate, I begin to shout, cry, pull my hair, and OH No!! I’m Bald!!

The telephone rings. It’s my brother, he’s saying “since Mom and Dad died the only thing you do is hang out, take drugs, and laze around all day, doing nothing. Get a job you worthless piece of crap any job. ”  Mom…..?? Dad…….??  Noooooooooooo!!!! Now I’m also and unemployed orphan!!

I try to explain to my brother how hard it is to find a job when your a Black, Jewish, diabled gay, with a mexican boyfriend, are a drug addict, HIV-positive, bald, and an orphan. But he doesn’t get it. Frustrated I hang up. It’s then I realize I only have one hand!!

With tears in my eyes I go to the window to look out. I see I live in a shanty town full of cardboard and tin houses. There is trash everywhere.

Suddenly I feel a sharp pain near my pacemaker…..Pacemaker? Besides being black, Jewish, disabled, a fairy with a mexican boyfriend, a drug addict, Hiv-positive, bald,  orphaned,  unemployed invalid with one hand,  and having a bad heart, I live in a crappy neighborhood.

At that very moment my boyfriend approaches and says to me, “Sweetiepie, my little black heart throb,  Have you decided who your going to vote for in the primary?”

“Is it going to be Hillary or Barack?”

Sonofabitch!!! Say it isn’t so!!!!! I can handle being a black, disabled one armed, drug addicted, jewish queer, who is on a pacemaker HIV positive, bald, orphaned, unemployed, lives in a slum, and has a Mexican boyfriend, but nooooo…….

      Please don’t tell me I’m a Democrat!!!!!!!!!!! 

3 Responses to “Truly A Fate Worse Than Death”

  1. Curious Texan says:

    It’s a good thing you didn’t post this at work; you might have been forced to quit your job:

    http://www.goodasyou.org/good_as_you/2007/12/knock-knock-w-1.html

    By the way, as a proud Bald-American (i.e. follicly impaired; see http://www.thebreastcaresite.com/tbcs/CommunitySupport/FunnyYouMentionItPage/AGreaterAppreciationForTheFolliclyImpaired.htm ), I also find your humor very offensive! Just think of all the bald people who have been “enslaved, beaten, killed, thrown in concentration camps, or persecuted because of who they are.”

    /sarcasm off

  2. celtictexan says:

    I received it at work LOL

  3. .U2kjmsanDfM says:

    .U2kjmsanDfM…

    Truly A Fate Worse Than Death « Ivory Dome…

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