Are you a Democrat or a Republican? Here’s a little test to help you decide:
You’re walking down a deserted street with your wife and two small children. Suddenly, a mideastern man with a huge knife comes around the corner, locks eyes with you, screams obscenities, praises Allah, raises the knife, and charges at you. You are carrying a Glock .40 cal, and you are an expert shot. You have mere seconds before he reaches you and your family.
What do you do?
Liberal Answer
Well, that’s not enough information to answer the question! Does the man look poor? Or oppressed? Have I ever done anything to him that would inspire him to attack? Could we run away? What does my wife think? What about the kids?
Could I possibly swing the gun like a club and knock the knife out of his hand? What does the law say about this situation? Does the Glock have appropriate safety built into it? Why am I carrying a loaded gun anyway, and what kind of message does this send to society and to my children?
Is it possible he’d be happy with just killing me? Does he definitely want to kill me, or would he be content just to wound me? If I were to grab his knees and hold on, could my family get away while he was stabbing me? Should I call 9-1-1? Why is this street so deserted?
We need to raise taxes, have a paint and weed day and make this happier, healthier street that would discourage such behavior.
This is all so confusing! I need to debate this with some friends for few days and try to come to a consensus.
Conservative Answer
BANG! BANG!
Extra Credit: Southern Conservative Answer:
BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! click…..(sounds of reloading).
BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! click
Daughter: “Nice grouping, Daddy! Were those the Winchester Silvertips or Federal Hydra-Shoks?”
Son: Can I shoot the next one?
LOL! I’ve thought of a few additions to the Liberal answer:
Do I feel threatened solely because I perceive him to be a mideastern man? Would I feel the same way if he were a blond-haired, blue-eyed Scandinavian type? What does that say about my prejudices?
Maybe if I pretend he’s Hispanic or Southern European(Italian, Greek, etc.) I won’t feel so threatened.
Maybe he isn’t even a man at all! I would feel terrible if I tried to defend myself, only to find out that he’s gay, lesbian, bisexual, transgender, or trans-sexual.
I wonder if he’s so angry because the self-service checkouts at Wal-Mart are only in English and Spanish. We really need to strive to be more culturally sensitive!
In further addition to the liberal answer if the man approaching them, instead of what was described above, was George W Bush, the answer would be similar to the Southern Conservative answer.
LOL good point Bo!
Point well taken, Bo. As I’ve pointed out at our favorite local liberal blog, the Left has a hard time distinguishing between who’s an opponent and who’s an enemy.